What to include in an obituary
Most obituaries follow the same simple order. You do not need every item; include what feels right for the person and your family.
- The announcement: full name (and any nickname or maiden name), age, city, date of death, and, if you wish, where or how they died.
- Their life story: where and when they were born, their parents, schooling, work, military service, marriage, and the communities they belonged to.
- What made them who they were: passions, faith, humor, sayings, the things people will remember first.
- Family: the people they leave behind (“survived by”) and those who died before them (“preceded in death by”).
- Services: the date, time, and place of the funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life, or a note that services are private.
- Remembrance: a charity for donations “in lieu of flowers,” a thank-you to caregivers, and where people can share memories.
How to write an obituary, step by step
1. Gather the facts first
Collect full names, dates, places, and the correct spelling of every family member’s name before you start writing. Check them with a second family member; this is where most mistakes happen.
2. Open with the announcement
Start with one or two sentences: “Jane Marie Smith, 84, of Dayton, Ohio, died peacefully at home on March 3, surrounded by her family.” Phrases such as “passed away,” “died,” or “went home to be with the Lord” are all fine; use the words your family would use.
3. Tell their story
Move through their life in order, from birth and childhood to work, family, and later years. Choose a few specific details over a long list: the garden she grew every summer says more than “she enjoyed hobbies.”
4. Name the family
List survivors, usually starting with a spouse or partner, then children (and their spouses), grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings, and others. Then name close family who died before them.
5. Share service details
Give the date, time, and full address of each service, and mention visitation or a reception if there is one. If details are not set yet, say where they will be posted.
6. Close with how to remember them
Suggest a charity for memorial donations, thank the people who cared for them, and invite readers to share a memory or photo on their memorial page.
7. Read it aloud and proofread
Reading aloud catches missing words and awkward sentences. Ask someone who knew them well to read it before it is published.
Obituary template
Copy this outline and replace the bracketed parts:
[Full name], [age], of [city, state], died [peacefully / unexpectedly] on [date] [at home / at place], [surrounded by family].
[First name] was born in [year, or month and year] in [place] to [parents’ names]. [He/She/They] graduated from [school] and [worked as / served in] [career or service] for [number] years. In [year], [first name] married [spouse], and together they [raised a family / built a life] in [place].
[First name] will be remembered for [two or three qualities or passions]. [A short story, saying, or detail that captures them.]
[First name] is survived by [spouse]; [children and their spouses]; [grandchildren]; and [siblings]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [names].
A [funeral / memorial service / celebration of life] will be held at [time] on [date] at [place, address]. [Visitation details.]
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [charity]. Memories and photos can be shared on [first name]’s memorial page at [mymemorium.com/their-name].
An example obituary
This example is fictional.
Robert “Bob” Allen Carter, 78, of Spokane, Washington, died peacefully on February 12, with his wife and daughters by his side.
Bob was born in 1947 in Missoula, Montana, to Harold and Ruth Carter. He served in the U.S. Navy and then spent 34 years as a lineman for the local utility, often the first one out the door after a winter storm. He married Linda Myers in 1972, and together they raised two daughters in the house Bob built himself.
Bob never met a stranger. He coached Little League for twenty seasons, kept a jar of butterscotch candy for every neighborhood kid, and could fix almost anything with baling wire and patience.
He is survived by his wife of 53 years, Linda; daughters Amy (Mark) Reynolds and Kate Carter; four grandchildren; and his sister, Joan. He was preceded in death by his parents and his brother, Tom.
A celebration of life will be held at 2 p.m. on Saturday, February 21, at Riverside Community Church. In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations to the local Little League. Share a memory of Bob on his memorial page.
Tips for writing an obituary
- How long should an obituary be? Newspaper obituaries are often 200 to 500 words because papers usually charge by length. An online memorial has no limit, so you can publish a short version in the paper and the full story online.
- Write in their voice, or yours. Formal or warm, serious or funny: the best obituaries sound like the person they describe.
- Protect your family’s privacy. It is safest to leave out the home address, the full date of birth, and a mother’s maiden name, which can be used for identity theft. Many families give just the birth year or month and year.
- Leave room for others. On a memorial page, friends and family can add their own stories and photos, so the obituary does not have to say everything.
- It is okay to ask for help. Funeral homes, clergy, and close friends often help families write and review an obituary.
Publish the obituary on a memorial page
On MyMemorium, the obituary sits alongside their life story, photo albums, timeline, and service details with RSVPs, and family and friends can add tributes and light candles. You can link to it from a newspaper notice or share it with a QR card at the service. See how it works, or compare plans and pricing.